Tonight was one of those moments for me. (I mean faith wise, not height. I'm kinda done growing vertically and am totally content with my amount of tallness - just in case you were wondering.)
Back story: at one point in our life or another, we have all experienced some type of heart break. Whether it was a guy, (or girl, if you're a guy reading this), intimate friend, or even family member, we've all experienced a relationship that failed and left a scar.... or at least I have. And when that relationship was over, I was bitter towards the person for a long time. It took countless prayers asking God to help me to forgive - to heal me.
And He did!
Tonight, after two years, I saw this person for the first time. We talked, joked, and laughed. It was so comfortable between us, and I was so at ease; I was inwardly in awe that the situation was even happening. I felt no bitterness or hurt the two hours we spent together. Even as I write this, I sit in wonder of the healing that has taken place within me. God. Is. So. Good. There is no other explanation except for His great mercy!
So how was this a mark of growth? Well, through this entire healing process, my faith in God has increased. My reliance upon him has become real. I can now confidently look back and say that I am not the same spiritual height I was 3 years ago. What's amazing is that this morning I asked God to show me what about me marks genuine faith. He faithfully answered - in a way I was totally not expecting! It amazes me when God opens our eyes to see the works He has done and is doing.
The point of all my rambling is this: that God heals hearts. Oh, it's not at all like we expect, and it can be a very long, at times painful, process. It requires lots of humbleness, faith, and perseverance on our part: humbleness to realize we can't fix the hurt ourselves, faith to trust that God will heal, and perseverance to continually forgive. Cause, news flash, we can't fix things ourselves. God created and only God restores. Also, forgiveness is not a one time action and you're done. Forgiveness is a daily decision. It is a decision to look past the sins of others. It is a decision to not let previous mistakes rule your life. It is a decision to not feel sorry for yourself. It is a decision to let God carry out the justice.
I want to encourage you, if you're struggling with a hurting heart right now, there is hope! If you humble yourself, have faith, and just keep persevering. I know its hard, especially when one day you're totally fine, and then the next you just want to cry yourself to sleep. But God is waiting for you to turn to him for healing. The psalmist writes, "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit," and "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalms 34:18 & 147:3)
Know that God is using this time to refine you, and make you more like His perfect son. He's using it to grow you. Though it might be painful now, you will be able to look back and see how God has marked your growth against His door frame. In that moment, all the hurt you endured, all the tears you cried, will all be worth it - take it from someone who knows.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2
Praise be to the One who comforts and heals hearts, and marks them with His peace!
Steady My Heart - Kari Jobe
