Growing Past the Hurt

Do you remember when you were little, and your parent would stand you up against a door frame in the house and mark your height? (Or maybe you were like me and you just kinda did it yourself.)  Regardless of who was holding their finger to the line, you would step back and proudly admire how much bigger you were. Remember those moments?

Tonight was one of those moments for me.  (I mean faith wise, not height. I'm kinda done growing vertically and am totally content with my amount of tallness - just in case you were wondering.)

Back story: at one point in our life or another, we have all experienced some type of heart break.  Whether it was a guy, (or girl, if you're a guy reading this), intimate friend, or even family member, we've all experienced a relationship that failed and left a scar.... or at least I have.  And when that relationship was over, I was bitter towards the person for a long time. It took countless prayers asking God to help me to forgive - to heal me.

And He did!

Tonight, after two years, I saw this person for the first time.  We talked, joked, and laughed.  It was so comfortable between us, and I was so at ease; I was inwardly in awe that the situation was even happening.  I felt no bitterness or hurt the two hours we spent together. Even as I write this, I sit in wonder of the healing that has taken place within me.  God. Is. So. Good.  There is no other explanation except for His great mercy!

So how was this a mark of growth? Well, through this entire healing process, my faith in God has increased.  My reliance upon him has become real.  I can now confidently look back and say that I am not the same spiritual height I was 3 years ago.  What's amazing is that this morning I asked God to show me what about me marks genuine faith.  He faithfully answered - in a way I was totally not expecting! It amazes me when God opens our eyes to see the works He has done and is doing.

The point of all my rambling is this: that God heals hearts. Oh, it's not at all like we expect, and it can be a very long, at times painful, process.  It requires lots of humbleness, faith, and perseverance on our part:  humbleness to realize we can't fix the hurt ourselves, faith to trust that God will heal, and perseverance to continually forgive.  Cause, news flash, we can't fix things ourselves. God created and only God restores. Also, forgiveness is not a one time action and you're done. Forgiveness is a daily decision.  It is a decision to look past the sins of others.  It is a decision to not let previous mistakes rule your life.  It is a decision to not feel sorry for yourself.  It is a decision to let God carry out the justice.

I want to encourage you, if you're struggling with a hurting heart right now, there is hope! If you humble yourself, have faith, and just keep persevering.  I know its hard, especially when one day you're totally fine, and then the next you just want to cry yourself to sleep.  But God is waiting for you to turn to him for healing.  The psalmist writes, "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit," and "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalms 34:18 & 147:3)

Know that God is using this time to refine you, and make you more like His perfect son.  He's using it to grow you.  Though it might be painful now, you will be able to look back and see how God has marked your growth against His door frame.  In that moment, all the hurt you endured, all the tears you cried, will all be worth it - take it from someone who knows. 

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2

Praise be to the One who comforts and heals hearts, and marks them with His peace!

Steady My Heart  -  Kari Jobe

Awe

I just want to encourage you today, sit and marvel at God's grace.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.
In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory."
Ephesians 1:3-14

God often calls his children to do two things: be still and remember.  God knows that this world moves fast paced, and distractions are not few and far between.  We need those moments of stillness with him to refocus and rest.  Not only that, but we need to be still to remember.  The business of life often causes us to become forgetful of, or even blinded to, the incredible workings of God.  If you look back at the Israelites, their times of rebellion were their times of forgetfulness.  Remembering what God has done helps us to put our trust in him right now.  When we remember his faithfulness, we realize he is still faithful and will get us through this trial, this struggle, this day. 

Right now, just sit still and remember.  Remember with awe the work of God in your life.  Sit in wonder of the mystery of his grace.

Always Pray and Do Not Lose Heart - John Piper

I want to encourage you to listen to this encouragement to pray from John Piper. Listen while you cook, clean, drive, whatever! This is something every person needs to listen to!

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/always-pray-and-do-not-lose-heart

Luke 18:1-8
"And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart. He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected man. And there was a widow in that city who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Give me justice against my adversary.’ For a while he refused, but afterward he said to himself, ‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.’” And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge says. And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”"

You Can't Do It

"Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin." (Romans 7:25 ESV)

To all those struggling out there. To all those who are trying with all their strength to live a righteous, godly life. To all those who know God's word, but can't seem to keep it or firmly believe it. To all those weary of life...

You can't do it.

Which is the reason we die in Christ. We die, so that we can be raised to life in his power. Because his power alone is able to walk through fire, and live a perfect life. He WAS the Word, and he gives faith to believe. He alone gives rest to all who are weary, and knows our every need.

In a world saying "you can do anything," learn to say "I can't." Not in an attitude of frustration or despair, but with humility.

Am I saying you shouldn't try your hardest to live a godly life or obey the Word. Not at all! Rather that you should try earnestly, but with the realization that it is impossible to succeed without Christ. We often (foolishly, ignorantly) try to fix our sins or problems ourselves. It is in these difficult times we must surrender.

Yes I say difficult, because in those moments of frustration or despair, we often don't see past our prayers. Hopelessness and fear seem more familiar than peace and faith. We think we have done all we can, yet we feel as though we have gotten nowhere. Drained, depressed, just wanting to sleep - can you relate?

We have to realize that we can't fix our brokenness - only God can. We have to earnestly pray that God will bring us to surrender whatever is burdening us. Because try as we might, we can't, on our own strength, cast our burdens on the Lord. He must take them from us.

Thankfully, our God is not puny. He is MIGHTY to save! He is able to lift out burdens and break our chains! He brings us to the point of surrender; we do not find it on our own.

Through the Fire

Whenever I am feeling downhearted, I run to Isaiah 43. There I am reminded that I am cherished by God.  I am refreshed and satisfied by his holy word.  Tonight, he used that beloved chapter yet again.

On the verge of throwing myself a little pity party (for no justifiable reason), I turned to Isaiah 43 and started copying it down into my journal.  After just verse two, I stopped.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you." Isaiah 43:2

As I read, "When you walk through fire," I was reminded of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego being thrown into the fiery furnace.  Let's revisit that story, shall we?

Read: Daniel 3:1-4:3

These young men (probably teenagers) did not know that God would save them.  They could not see the outcome of their situation.  Just like we can't today.  Regardless, they chose to trust God even though things looked like they were about to get fried.  They did not just simply know that God was with them; they believed he was.  They were living out the contentment in Christ Paul discusses in Philippians 4:11-13. 

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me."  So many people take this verse out of context and twist it to mean all sorts of things it doesn't. The testimony of these three young men so perfectly depicts the true meaning of Philippians 4:13. 

They spoke up to the king saying, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

Guys. Seriously. They just told the king that they didn't even need to answer him.... the king.  And then they don't even put up a fight when they are bound and led to their death.

This story is so easy to read as just that - a story.  But imagine with me for a moment.  You're speaking up to and defying not only your boss, but the king... the man who just gave you a second chance so you wouldn't have to die.  But you choose death over disobeying God.  So the king, who is now furious, multiplies the harshness of your death penalty.  You are roughly and tightly bound with ropes and hauled into the fire - but you don't resist.

I believe this is what Paul means when he says, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." It means that I can face life or death with obedience to Christ, with courage, and with strength because I know my life is in God's hands.  Not only that, but I can walk through rising waters and blazing fires and know that God is walking with me.

I thank God that he is with me, not only in the river and fire, but also in the quiet nights.  The nights I just need to be reminded I'm cherished.  The nights I need to be satisfied by his Word. 

I praise him because he is faithful.

You

Love unfailing

Peace prevailing

My calm midst my storm

You hold me while I mourn.

In You I am complete;

No friend or foe could ever defeat

Your love as it wraps around my beating heart--

           want

                       hurt

                                   jealousy

Your arms wrap around me tight--

            love

                      satisfaction

                                        peace

As my heart beats and beats and beats,

May it beat in time with Your step

That my desires may not be

Those of the flesh.

 

My eyes are on Your kingdom--

            Your glory alone.

You are my all--

             I am not my own.

 

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"I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul."   Psalm 31:7

Show Me Your Faith

"But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.  You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe—and shudder!  Do you want to be shown, you foolish person, that faith apart from works is useless?  Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered up his son Isaac on the altar?  You see that faith was active along with his works, and faith was completed by his works;  and the Scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”—and he was called a friend of God.  You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone.  And in the same way was not also Rahab the prostitute justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out by another way?  For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead."
James 2:18-26
 
I started college this semester (only one class, but, hey, you gotta start somewhere, right?).  Take me, a Christian teenage girl who grew up home schooled in a Christian household, and put me in the middle of a 16 college students and a professor in a pottery studio (yes, I'm taking a pottery class as my first college class).  Besides learning to make bowls, I think the biggest lesson this class has taught me thus far is how dependent I am upon Jesus, and how different he has made me from the world. 
 
I went into this class knowing it would be a whole new experience for me.  Not only because it's college, but because it is a place totally outside of my comfortable circle of  Christian friends.  Every time I have been in the workshop for the past few weeks, there has been extensive cussing, as well as discussions about sex, homosexuality, drugs, and etc..  Had God not prepared me for this, I'm pretty certain I would have gone into complete culture shock. 
 
Prayerfully, I have begged God to give me courage, wisdom, patience, and love for my classmates.  I have failed multiple times to be intentional to glorify God with opportunities in class.  Despite my failures, he has answered my prayers!  He has shone through me in class, and my classmates are taking notice!
 
It did not just happen, though -- them seeing Christ in me.  It took effort.  I have spent hours in prayer.  I prayed that God would empty me of myself, and fill me with him.  I prayed he would give me a selfless servant's heart.  I prayed for patience... courage... wisdom... you get the idea.  However, I didn't stop there.  Prayer is not a place were you stop.  It's where you start.  I intentionally made the effort in class to serve.  If someone needed something, I tried to be quick to offer help.  If someone was getting discouraged, I did my best to give a word of encouragement or praise.  I wanted those around me to see that when I said I was a Christian, I meant it. 
 
Today, while alone with one of the girls from my class that I have been forming a fairly good relationship with, she said something that really encouraged my heart.  She said, "You know what I love about you?  You say you're a Christian, and you act like it.  I know people who say they are Christian, but really, they only act it on Sunday.... I feel like you try to be that way all the time. and I love that! I can believe you when you say that you are a Christian."
 
My heart gushed with happiness!  I have only known this girl for a month.  The fact that all the effort I was putting forth for my faith was actually showing... and people were taking note of it... I am just so in awe of God!! I have been learning to show my faith by works like never before in my life!!  It has been a struggle, not to mention exhausting, but oh how sweet the work of the Lord is!! Each week I come home with new stories of God's faithfulness and goodness.  He continues to amaze me, and leave me craving for more of him.
 
I share all this with you for two reasons -- The first is to show you that, when you show your faith by your works, people take notice.  People are watching you, especially when you claim to be a child of God.  When you say you're a Christian, but your life doesn't back up what your mouth says, no one is going to believe a word you say.  So be conscious of your actions.
 

Secondly, I want to encourage you to serve others for the purpose of the gospel.  Tonight my youth pastor discussed how when we serve, but the spread of the gospel is not the desire of our heart, our good works are pointless.  We serve to build relationships; in those relationships, we gain the trust of others, that they might listen to us when we share with them the hope and truth of the gospel.  We serve because we genuinely care about everyone God created in his image.  We serve not for ourselves, but for the glory of God in every way.  We serve because we genuinely care about everyone God created in his image.  We serve not for ourselves, but for the glory of God in every way. 

I hope by reading this you were encouraged and/or challenged in some way.  If you need some guidence on how to live selflessly, here are some Bible verses to get you started.  Please comment if you would like more verses, or have any questions!

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."   Ephesians 4:2

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.
Put on then, as God's chosen onesholy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."  Colossians 3:1-17

ReFocus

"Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
Psalm 51:10-12

Sometimes, your heart just has a hard day.  There is no particular reason why, it just is.  Although, not spending enough time with God is usually the root of the problem. 

Today was that kind of day.  I don't know why, but something was just not right most of the day.  Actually, I do know.  The beginning of my problem was that my prayer was not focused this morning.  My Bible study was not a desire to be in the scriptures.  It was more of a "okidoki. check that one off the long to-do list I have today. Next?"

I was attempting to spend time with God.  I prayed as I drove to class.  I sang worship along with the radio, and I was trying to be sincere.  But, my actions were not stemmed from a desperate desire to be with him.  My heart was crying out, but with no direction or focus. It did not know what to cry out, or what it needed.

I was too focused on me, and not on him.

God really is too marvelous for words, to faithful to be fathomed.  Finally, tonight, feeling defeated and overwhelmed, the focus was taken off of me.  My strength was not enough.  My time was not enough. My words were not enough.  The Holy Spirit took hold and humbled my heart. 

After prayer, after my focus was straightened out, the Lord refilled and reminded me of his love for me.  My daddy passed me two items of mail. The first was a check with donation money for a mission trip God has called me on this summer.  A sweet thank you postcard was the second. 

Sometimes, it's just in the little things that God reminds you that he's still there and he cares. But if he is not our focus, how will we see him in those little things?  I wonder how many precious moments of his presence I miss because my focus is on something else...

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."
Colossians 3:1-2

He Humbled Himself

"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy,
complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Philippians 2:1-11

You will often hear it told that Christmas is not about the presents, the decorations, the parties, etc. And indeed it's not. This year, however, God taught me this in a new way.

Christmas has probably always been my favorite time of year. I fall in love with the atmosphere of love and joy it brings. The friends and family... The hot cocoa... The christmas lights and gift giving. It usually gets me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. You know?

This year was different though. I didn't have that warm, fuzzy feeling I usually got as December rolled around. I was baffled for much of the month not understanding why I was not in a more joyful mood! I was incredibly frustrated some days, even!

But today, rather than search for a feeling that would be as steadfast as the sand under a wave, I kneeled in awe of my Savior: Jesus Christ. Wonderful Counselor. Mighty God. Everlasting Father. Prince of Peace. He, who deserved to remain on his thorn at the right side of his Father in heaven, entered a sin-stricken world. "who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the like was of men."

My Creator grew from a babe into a man. He was tempted as I am. He suffered - even to the point of brutal death. And all of this was by his choice. Because he loves me and you: sinners not deserving of any grace, any forgiveness, any love... But chosen, desired, even cherished by the Father!

I am simply in awe of this beautiful truth!! I don't understand how you cannot be!! I am humbled by the love shown. This love that left perfection, and entered into corruption. This love that lived and died that I might have a relationship with him. This love that gives me faith and light to walk in this dark world.

This love humbled himself. For you. For me.

And I kneel in awe of the precious name of Jesus Christ...
"Therefore God has exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

To Him be all glory and honor forever!!! Amen.

This is what Christmas is all about.

Between My Heart and Soul

Between My Heart and Soul

The stillness of my soul,
My heart cannot handle
Stirring up tumultuous waters
As it begins the battle
Between my heart and soul

It begins as a ripple
A question without answer -
A single bullet shot
Bringing about tension
Between my heart and soul

With a cautious stroke I
Tread the growing current
Entertaining idea
Contradicting thoughts swimming
Between my heart and soul

Current... Thoughts... each gaining speed
Threatening to wash over -
To replace the air with lies
To drown me in my thoughts
Between my heart and soul

My voice cries out for help!
To the calmer of the seas,
The one who walks on water
Only he can calm battles
Between my heart and soul

With feeble attempts I kick
Trying to stay above the
Doubting waves of my mind
That are flowing quicker
Between my heart and soul

"Stop!! be still." All is calm.
Not a ripple flows through
My Lord commands the waters,
my waters once rough now rest
Within my heart and soul

God know my anxious heart,
You hold my trembling hand,
And lead me through crashing waves
Whispering peace to my soul.

..........................................................................................................................................................
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;"
Isaiah 43:2a

Walking with God

"Enoch walked with God 300 years and fathered sons and daughters... Enoch walked with God." Genesis 5:22-24

I worry about life, the future, things to do. That sentence pretty much describes my focus this morning. Praise be to God that he can calm my anxious heart and remind me of his sweet desire for my life!! His desire for me to know him, to walk with him. Too often my longing for his companionship gets clouded by the pursuit of worldly success. But, softly he whispers to me, "Slow down." He reminded me to focus on walking with him, before I worry about running. He spoke today, through Beth Moore's words:

"When all is said and done, God may have His own personal testimony of all who lived by faith. Don't miss the four word testimony of one of His saints found in Genesis 5: "Enoch walked with God."
"That's all we have to do in order to please God. Walk with Him. He wants our company, and the only way we can walk with Him is to walk by faith and not by sight. The law of Moses did not exist in Enoch's era. He had no rules or regulations. We have no ground for believing that God appeared to him or spoke aloud from the heavens. In a cold world, Enoch simply had a feverish pursuit of God."
Believing God Day by Day, November 27, by Beth Moore

Note to self: stop running through life like the world, and start walking with God.

Sitting at His Feet, Forgetting My Worries

"Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching.  But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, 'Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.'  But the Lord answered her, 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.'" Luke 10:38-42

I am so easily distracted. Ask anyone I have a conversation with! I'm tellin' ya.  I am the queen of chasing rabits!  God knows this about me all too well.  Distractions are something I struggle with daily in my walk with him.  Stress, worries, and/or doubts usually are what do it too.  It's something I am constantly asking him to forgive me of. Often times, the doubts that creep into my heart are  just silly, and, quite honestly, have absolutely NO firm foundation at all.  Never the less, I get to thinking about them.  Which turns into worrying about them.  Which turns into my head yelling at my heart for being stupid and not just trusting God.  (James and Peter knew what they were talking about when they said that there's a war going on inside of each of us!)

Praise God for his faithfulness! He is always faithful to forgive, and draw me back to him.  It amazes me every time he does...

Tonight was one of those times.  It took him a while... but he finally got me to be still, sit at his feet, and listen. As I read Luke 10:38-42, I was amazed that I ever worry about things other than knowing Christ more deeply.  Because really, what's the point of my life?  To be in a growing relationship with my Savior.  To glorify him through that. Nothing else! My life is not about material things. Not about people. Not about the future.  Not even about worrying what his will is for me!  My life has to be about knowing Christ more and more, and growing in my relationship with God.  Because when it is, he takes care of everything else! Jesus says so in Luke 12:22-32:
"And he said to his disciples, 'Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?  Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!  And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried.  For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them.  Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you. Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.'"

"For all the nations of the world seek after these things."  If by seeking these things, I am being like the world, I want nothing to do with worrying and being anxious!  The last thing I want to be is as the seeds that were thrown among the thorns: "And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature." (Luke 8:14)

I desire to be like Mary.  I want to just sit at Jesus' feet, for that is where a true disciple belongs.  I want my thoughts to be fully focused on the words coming from his mouth, and nothing else.  I long for my heart to desire him, and only him.

"One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple."
Psalm 27:4

"Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.

But for me it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works."

Psalm 73:23-28

 

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth."

Colossians 3:1-2\

Your Word

How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
    By living according to your word.
I seek you with all my heart;
    do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart
    that I might not sin against you.
Praise be to you, Lord;
    teach me your decrees.
With my lips I recount
    all the laws that come from your mouth.
I rejoice in following your statutes
    as one rejoices in great riches.
I meditate on your precepts
    and consider your ways.
I delight in your decrees;
    I will not neglect your word.
Psalm 119:9-16

This past month, the title of this blog has been my prayer.  Lord, bind my wandering heart to Thee! As more things competed for my attention, I became more and more fickle in my walk with God.  Intimately focused one day.  Distracted for a week...  I knew my priorities were off-balanced. My mindset was "I'll get to my Bible study next...." Only, "next" quickly turned to night and my day had run out of time.  I knew that I would only know God more deeply through studying his word, yet I kept relying on my "great" time management skills to work things out on their own.

Thankfully, my God is faithful.

He continued to tug at my heart day after day.  Reminding me that it was only in his word I would grow closer to him.  Only there would I learn him, love him, desire him.  My prayers were (and still are) to desire him more, but I was not listening as he told me where to find him.  Praise the Lord, yesterday he broke through my stubbornness once again!! Even this morning, my human laziness to open his word ailed me.  But his truth is like sweet medicine to the soul! Healing and restoring my heart and my mind.

But medicine only works if you take it.  Right now, I want to encourage you to turn off your phone, TV, iPod, etc.  Spend some time in God's holy word and in prayer.  You need it! And if you just wait for time with God to happen, without putting effort into making it happen, it won't!  Take it from a girl who knows. 

Why are you still reading this?! Time's a-tickin'! Break away from the business and restlessness of life for a little bit.  Let God refresh you with his unfailing peace and love!! :)

Don't own a Bible? Please check out http://www.biblegateway.com/. Clueless as to where to start? Type John 1 in the website's search bar and press Enter.

My God is so BIG, so Strong, and so Mighty... There's Nothing My God Cannot Do

"And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen. And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” Matthew 21:21-22

The glory of God.

Our life's purpose, our life's goal, all summed up into one phrase.  We exist to bring God glory.  Our very existence is testimony to his majesty!  Yet, through what we do with our existence, he can be even more glorified!  

What is so wonderful about this purpose that God has given us, is that it is an adventure!  The journey of faith is not a boring one.  It only becomes boring when we allow our faith to weaken, and forget how big and mighty our God is!  God wants to be glorified through us by doing exciting things with us.

I think our prayer life is a good indicator of our faith level sometimes.  We're going to sincerely pray for what we believe God can do. Sadly... I'm realizing my prayer life has the tendency to quickly become, "Lord, help me with this math test and let me glorify you today."

What a boring level of faith.

No! I'm ready to live on the edge with God.  Even if it means my prayers are asking Him to move mountains. Even if it means begging Him to bring the dead hearts of an entire high school to life. Even if it just means Him bringing ONE person that was dead in their sin into the glorious life through the blood of the Lamb!

I want God to use me in incredible ways to make his name famous! I want to fall deeply in love with Him, and follow Him to the ends of the earth...

I'm tired of living in the safe zone with a God for whom all things are possible. (Mark 10:27) 

More than a Feeling

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you, declares the Lord,"
Jeremiah 29:12-14a

"The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge."

Psalm 19:1-2

I rely a lot on emotions and feelings.  I know what it feels like to have God's intimate presense, because I've felt it multiple times before.  Which is why I've been struggling these past two weeks...

I know God is always with me.  I believe it.  Three weeks ago, I clearly felt his presense too.  However, the feeling faded as the stresses of life caught me in their undertow.  School piled up.  Family and friends distracted.  Personal wants and desires tempted. As the feeling of his passionate, intimate presense left, the desire for it to return grew.  I questioned what I had done wrong... What had I done to cause this distance??? How do I fix it, Lord?!
I was overwhelmed for days with a longing to feel my Savior with me again like I had before.  I desperately searched for what was wrong with me, hoping I would find his presense. I couldn't understand where he had gone... Why I wasn't feeling him with me. 

And then he opened my eyes.

He slowed my speeding heart and racing mind.  Every day that week, I lived only to make it through that day to the next, overwhelmed and discouraged. His words were like chocolate milk to my soul: "Open your eyes... Look at what I have created all around you.  See me through it all. Me. Slow your fast paced, busy life down and breathe.  Stop being so intently focused upon your to-do list.  Sit for a moment.  Let my presense wash over you as the warm wind moves your hair.  Discover my beauty in my creation's colors.  This is another way you can know my presense.  I am not just a feeling.  I am so much more... Just let me show you."

That was Tuesday of last week. Since then, I have been intentionally looking for his beauty through creation. Oppertunities and reasons to worship him.  My moments with him are deepening my love for him.  This past week I have waited in wonder of him as I watched the sun set and rise.  I sat in breathless awe earlier tonight as I watched his lightning play among the clouds as the crickets worshipped him in song.  I have witnessed and listened to countless stories of God's faithfulness and sovereignty as he works in and among his people. 

He is teaching me that he is not a feeling. I say teaching because I have not mastered this lesson; nor will I ever.  I struggle with not trusting my feelings first and foremost...  But, he is giving me faith to learn to be still and wait for him. (Psalm 37:7a)  When questions of doubt begin to peck at my heart, I run into God's arms.  There he reminds me of his steadfastness.  He reminds me that my feelings come and go like the lapping of waves on the shoreline. But he... he is eternal.

Not Put to Shame

"I will speak of your statutes before kings and I will not be put to shame, for I delight in your commands because I love them." Psalm 119:46

What courage! Fearlessly speaking God's word, even before kings!! I love this verse for that very reason. I desperately want to fearlessly speak God's word to EVERYONE. I want to be like the disciples of Acts: bold, courageous, selfless, and passionately allowing the Spirit to lead them.
For months I have found comfort in this verse because it says "and i will not be put to shame." My thought was, "awesome! God won't let me be put to shame because I'll be speaking His word! What do I have to worry of acceptance or ridicule? He's got me!"
And he certainly does have me. But what if the shame he is talking of here is not shame from people, but from him?? Because wasn't even Jesus shamed by people, even to the point of being put to death on a cross? But God said of him, "This is my son, who I love."
Maybe I will be put to shame in others' eyes when I speak of his statutes before kings, maybe I won't. But if I am listening and obeying the Spirit, I am confident I will not be shamed in God's eyes. Whose but God's opinion do I really need to care about anyways?
The last person I want to be like is Eve, who disobeyed and was ashamed. (Genesis 3) No, I want to be like Paul, who spoke boldly of God before King Agrippa (Acts 26). Because this life isn't about me or my comfort, it's about God's glory.
So I will obey you, O Lord. I will speak of your statutes before kings. And I may be tortured, mocked, flogged, chained and imprisoned, stoned, sawn in two, or killed by the sword. I may walk about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, an mistreated (Hebrews 11:36-37). But in your eyes, I pray I will not be put to shame.

I am thankful.

I am thankful.
I am thankful that my God is sovereign. He has made me and knows more about me than I ever will.  He teaches me lessons I need to learn in his own perfect timing, and equips me with the ability to learn it.  He reminds me HIS ways and thoughts are higher than my own (Isaiah 55:8-9). He reveals to me his caring, compassionate heart. He is faithful, patient, loving, gracious, correcting, firm, steadfast, eternal......
I am thankful that his Word is true, and prayer is reliable.  His truth does not depend on my experience or feeling.  He is able to handle all the frustration and questions I can dish out. He alone can wholly satisfy my longing heart.
I am thankful for who he has given me. A friend who calls me out and reminds me that this life is not about me.  A friend who reminds me of who it is I really am, and why I've been created. A brother who genuinely cares.  A friend who encourages. 
I am thankful that even when a day does not start (or continue) how I had wanted, God is in control of it. His blessings are woven throughout my day.  He changes my attitude, humbles my heart, and opens my eyes so I can see his presence, feel his "hugs".
I am thankful that I have been saved by the blood of the Lamb. And, everyday, God is transforming my mind.  Everyday, he is making me more like his precious son. Everyday he is faithful and true.
For all this and so much more, I am thankful....

Trust in the Lord...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

My heart's desire is to please my LORD. I want to honor Him with all of my actions, my words, my thoughts. I long to hear the words "Well done, my good and faithful servant" as I enter into His presence.
All too often though, I begin to worry... Was that really God's voice or my own? Should I be doing something I'm not? Was I right or wrong in saying that? Questions of doubt worm their ways into my head. Resulting in a cry out of uncertainty! A desire for a set of dos and don'ts... a list of rules I can live by and do everything right. "Cause God, if I only had that, then I wouldn't make any mistakes! I wouldn't dishonor or displease you. I could do everything right..."
But, in reality, is it when "we do everything right" that God is pleased? Or when we turn to Him? Is it God's desire that we live perfect lives on our own? Or that we allow Him to be the one to make us like His perfect son?
I think God didn't give us a "How to Live the Perfect Life 101" rulebook or a perfect understanding of this life for a reason.  Because if He had, would we have as much of a need for Him as we do?? Instead, He gave us His Spirit and His Word!! A part of Himself, given to us to guide us throughout life. (Romans 8:14, Psalm 119:105).
A part of GOD! Given to me! And I just want a list of dos and don'ts?! What a glorious adventure I would miss out on... An adventure to discover the heart of God, to learn more of Him intimately, to become more like Him personally...
This adventure, however, requires faith and trust (two areas God has really been teaching and growing me in as of late).  It requires a confidence that God will direct us in the way He wants us to go, and convict us when we're not walking according to His directions.  We must lay down our need to understand, our desire to control and lead, and place them in the hands of the One who has already planned our lives. (Psalm 139:16). We must confidently live moment by moment listening for the whisper of the Spirit and walking by the light of the Word. Trusting that God will lead and guide us in the way of everlasting. (Psalm 139:24b)